Extraordinary Women Writers I Worked With in 2010

I dont' know about you but this is the time of year I spend a good deal of time thinking back on the past twelve months and give thanks for lots of great opportunities and experiences. One of the most exciting things was hosting a great reading series with She Writes called Ordinary Women: Extraordinary Heroines. For those of you that joined us or follow the blog you know the purpose of the series is to spotlight great women writers who are telling interesting stories about ordinary women. In the coming year I hope to bring the series back to NYC and to a few other locations around the country and along with She Writes, I hope to continue to be an ambassador to the wide wonderful worthy world of women and their amazing adventures.

So as you plan your holiday purchases or plan on what books you will be curling up to over the holiday break consider these great women writers and their terrific books -- all of which I have had the pleasure of meeting this year.

Hyatt Bass

Tess Callahan

Virginia DeBerry and Donna Grant

Louisa Ermelino

Amina Gautier

Masha Hamilton

Diane Meier

Audrey Niffenegger

Deborah Siegel

Gail Straub

Terese Svoboda

Emily Gray Tedrowe

Kamy Wicoff

Zoe Zolbrod

Mirror, Mirror

Last night I had a dream I helped a man and woman pass through a portal to another side of reality. (It beats the dream I had a few weeks ago that Ray Charles had put a dead horse under my bed.) To get to the other side they had to walk through a full length mirror. In the dream I told them they would be happy and I would clean up the broken glass.

I sat down to write this morning and couldn't get the faces of the man and woman off my mind (or the dream memory of picking up the shards of broken glass.) It didn't take long before I realized the couple in my dream were the characters in my second novel which I am rewriting.

Using a full length mirror as the portal is interesting (way to go subconscious!) as I would assume it means that in looking at my own reflection (or going inward) I can give birth to new realities. That reminds me a bit of the wicked queen in Snow White (or Sleeping Beauty?) that uses her mirror to tell her the truth -- who is the fairest of them all? "Not you," the mirror responds.

Passing through the mirror portal made my characters come alive but it also broke the glass - of which I had the job of "picking up the pieces." I think that accurately reflects the process of releasing your stories into the world. While it is liberating, it is also scary and leaves you with an intense vulnerability. Who wants the reflection to answer back in a negative way?

The dream ended with me tucking the man and woman into bed. It was my childhood bed complete with my old comforter and the backdrop of bright green apple tree wallpaper. What better way of showing me my responsibility to these characters than to have me safeguarding them like a mother does her children? What is more comforting than being tucked in?

In the end there is little that distinguishes the land of imagination from our dreamworld and even reality, in all those dimensions (including the spirit world if you are so inclined to believe) we are aching to tell our stories, to make something inside us real, to experience the transformation that comes from being known. Writing is a magic wand, a truthful mirror, a way in and a way out. As the Yogis say...all is one.

Now if I can just figure out how Ray Charles got that horse under my bed...

Here it comes...the paperback of The Last Bridge

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” – Henry Miller

On Tuesday, the paperback edition of The Last Bridge will be released everywhere.

I imagine that having a story released into the world is similar to sending your child to school on the first day or dropping them off at their first dance. There is a part of you that knows they are ready (even if you might not be) and knows that you have done everything you can do to make their journey a safe one. That's how I feel about my paperback. Even now, after living with this story for almost a quarter of my life, and having a great experience with the hardcover launch, I am anxious and excited. I want the world to like Cat Rucker, I want them to understand the story.

This time around, I have some confidence that the book will continue to find its' way into the hands of many readers who respond to the intensity of the story. The best part of being published is connecting with readers and hearing their stories and listening to their response. I have met many wonderful people so far and am starting to feel as protective of my readers as I am of my book!

On the brink of the paperback release and of my release of the draft of book two to my agent, (more on that in the coming weeks) I feel like a mother of two children -- one starting first grade and the other pre-school. On Tuesday I will wake up and think about the book sitting on shelves, displayed on tables and considered and viewed by potential readers. As it makes its' way into the world I will stand in the wings and remind myself of all the love, hard work and passion my, agents, editors, sales people, publicists, family, marketing, readers, bookstores, proofreaders, teachers, copy editors, designers, typesetters, and friends gave to The Last Bridge. While the process of writing may be solitary, the delivery and execution of a book takes a village.

I am grateful to you all...

Go get 'em Cat...

Discovery vs. Distraction

Some days writing feels like factory work. You set a goal, sit down and have at it until you either reach the goal, give up, or get distracted. While there are days when you feel you are drawing from a well of divine inspiration, there are many more that just feel like you are a day laborer sorting words into sentences.

I've been stuck for the last two days on a scene where one of my main characters visits Goa Gajah, or the Elephant Cave in Bali. Although I was there (ten years ago) I was looking for confirmation on what is actually inside. Seems simple, but it wasn't. No matter how many resources I checked, I was not satisfied I had gotten the information I was looking for. I spent hours reading websites, looking at strangers holiday photos and re-reading guidebooks but I wasn't feeling anything click.

See, my character has a moment in the cave, this much I knew. How did I know that? I can't say other than it was a hunch, there was a reason this needed to happen but I was damned if I knew why or how (or even what the big moment was going to be.) I just knew something happens in that cave.

Research like this is like following breadcrumbs into a dark forest hoping it's going to lead you to a gingerbread house. The deeper you go the harder it is to give up but the darker it gets.

About an hour ago I was thinking about changing the story and having her go somewhere else, my breadcrumb trail was going stale. My research was a bust. I was not following a hunch I was creating a huge distraction.

And then, BINGO. One phrase, describing the deity Ganesha, changed everything. I knew why she was there, what was going to happen and why that moment is so important to the story.

What was the phrase? "Ganesha is widely revered as the Remover of Obstacles."

Just like that the obstacle was removed in both the story and my writing process. (I think I may have been getting some divine inspiration after all!)

Reunited and it feels so good...

The weekend of October 16th I returned to my hometown of Pittsburgh to attend my thirty year high school reunion and to do some author events. The weekend kicked off with my reading and talk at the Mt. Lebanon Pubic Library. While the building has changed dramatically over the years, the soul of it is the same as I remembered as a young girl. Mt. Lebanon library was a frequent stop for me growing up. It was within biking distance of our house and provided me with unlimited opportunities to learn more about the world and to plan my future.

The room filled up with friends, family, and library supporters. As I looked out in the audience I saw people from my past, high school buddies, my Mom, best friend Gwyn and her husband Lester and many new faces. It was a highlight of the whole book tour.

Gwyn hosted a lunch back at her house after the event with a group of friends from high school. Many of them we had not seen since our ten year reunion or even high school. It was startling to see how quickly we all fell back into our high school banter and reassuring to know that once you are connected to someone it rarely changes just because you lose touch. We ate, talked and most of all did what made us all friends in the first place, we laughed.

The reunion that night was overwhelming. The turnout was great. Thank goodness for the name tags with our high school photos on them as that helped a lot. I spent the evening sharing memories from grade school through high school with lots of classmates.

Sunday I signed books at Barnes & Noble and was visited by a few more friends from high school, including a friend who missed the reunion due to flight delays. Again, it was such a good feeling to reconnect.

Driving back to New York after the weekend I realized I don't really talk a lot about my time in high school. My memory of it was filtered through my burning desire to get out of Pittsburgh and get on with my life. I had forgotten about how rich and important my bonds were with those amazing people. In high school, those friends helped mold me into the adult I became, they accepted me for who I was and encouraged and supported my creative endeavors. They helped me believe I could have a life in New York.

In my haste to move on, I had forgotten that...until now. I am grateful for those days and the love of so many accomplished classmates!

Male Bonding...

For me, the key to doing research for a book is to make sure you are writing about something of great interest. Nothing could be more interesting to me than the male point of view. In my second novel, I am writing a story about a love affair between a man and woman told from both points of view and boy is it interesting writing through the eyes of a man.

Although I am still in the drafting stage, I have already concluded that when it comes to all the relationships I've had with men...well...I think I've gotten it completely wrong. I just don't think men work the way I thought they did. That's the bad news...the good news...well they aren't as complicated as I thought. Of course the irony is that most of the men I have known have been trying to tell me this for decades, I ignored this, assuming the comment was just another layer of...complication.

Writing from the first person point of view of a man has literally made me see things through his eyes and what I've seen is a revelation. Most of the time men and women just aren't speaking the same language. Women interpret, men act. While that may be simplistic, I think it is pretty true. The first time this hit me was in writing a scene where the man buys the woman a pair of earrings. He has observed her admire them and put them back and figures it would be nice to get them for her so he does. Writing as the man, this seemed simple.

Writing as the woman though, she opens the box and sees the earrings she had liked and tries to understand the meaning of the gesture. Her instinct was to interpret, how did he know I liked them? Why did he do this? How should I respond? If she asks him he will probably say, "I thought you would like them." She will undoubtedly be disappointed by that response and assume there was more to it than that.

I'm not saying she is wrong but I'm also not saying he is wrong either. What is so cool about writing the same story from both perspectives is that neither is wrong or right, they just are -- the intersection of these points of view is where all the drama, passion, conflict and connection comes from.

Although there are many things I admire about the way men approach things there are two (so far) that resonate with me. The first is that men don't hold onto emotion. Yes, this can be annoying sometimes but is also wonderful. I can count all the times I've had an argument with a man and a few hours later have asked him if he was still mad and the response, "about what?" Men tend to let things go, you fight, you have makeup sex and it's over. Women tend to ruminate on it, analyze and hold onto comments. Sometimes that's not so good.

The second thing is that, for the most part, men don't analyze our looks they way we think they do (or worse the way we analyze ourselves or each other.) While they always take heat for answering "yes" to the question "do these jeans make me look fat." We give them grief because what we hear is, "you are fat therefore I am not attracted to you nor is anyone else on the planet."

That is not what he means, he means, well, you look fat in those jeans but that is all. Men don't scan every inch of your body for flaws, let's face it, they don't really have time to do that, they like to get down to business (remember they like to 'act?')

"Truth be told," a male friend of mine said to me once during a conversation we had about women's breasts, "it's all good." Before I started writing from a male point of view I wouldn't have believed him, now I see what he means. It's kind of like cookies, some you like more than others but hey it's still a COOKIE!

I am grateful to the men in my life for helping me with this male bonding experience. Glad I have men who will happily answer questions for me about their bodies, their impressions and their feelings. The more I write as a man the more I understand. I am hoping my research will payoff in the book and in life as well. I'm hoping it is good prep for when Mr. Right finally shows up.

What's happening with the second book?

The second most common question I get asked (after people want to know if the book is about me) is when am I coming out with a second book.

For those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter you know I have been working on it pretty seriously for the last year or so. This summer I ramped up the pace of the writing and have set some pretty strict deadlines for myself to get it in shape. I promise it will not take as long as the first book. (It can't, I don't have that kind of patience anymore!)

Writing the second book feels different. While it is easier to structure the book and I do have a much better understanding of how to put the story together, I also have the weight of the first book sitting on my shoulders, sometimes it is an angelic presence, reminding me I can do it and other times it is devilish, making me question whether or not this book is as good or as relevant as The Last Bridge. All those thoughts dance through my head as I first sit down to write. As I climb back into the story they dissipate and the momentum of the plot takes over. The characters come alive and start speaking to me and for a while, I am lost and not thinking or worrying about anything else other than what happens next.

As I get further along (that's code for as soon as I have a solid draft which should be within a month or so) I will talk a little bit more about it. I can say this, it takes place in Bali, and there is no suicide note.

Excuse me would you like to buy my book?

Since the launch I have been adjusting to my life as a published author, which isn’t much different from my life before, except there is more work and an ever present sense that there must be something else I should be doing to get the word out. In this day and age, the life of an author is part writer and part pusher, so I find myself spending a portion of every day contacting libraries, organizations, and media outlets pitching them my book (and the value of supporting it.)

While I am an outgoing person, like most folks, I have a level of discomfort, feeling like I am talking about myself (or my book) all the time, so I’m trying to find the right approach, one that gets results without me feeling like I’m trying to get you hooked on dope.

The universal experience I have had when speaking to people is how nice and supportive they are. In spite of all the different ways you can connect to readers, the most effective way is still word of mouth. This is when you are grateful to have friends with big mouths! In addition to reading the book, many of you have recommended it, lots of you have sent me pictures of the book from bookstores, and a few of you have checked your library card catalogs to make sure they are stocking it. (It gives me a thrill to see multiple copies checked out or on hold in library catalogs!) Thank you for all the promotion you have done on my behalf!

By far though, the best experience I have had on my own, was walking up to a woman in a Barnes & Noble in Bayshore, Long Island. She was holding my book and trying to decide whether or not to buy it. I said, "that book is really good you should buy it."

She said, "did you read it?"

I said, "No, I wrote it." She and her friend each bought a copy and I signed it.

Living in the sentences

"...after you get into the book, you're really living with these people and you're living in the sentences. And their experience kind of becomes yours. It's a peculiar kind of loss of identity that the author has..." -- E.L. Doctorow

Yesterday afternoon I was listening to E.L. Doctorow on All Things Considered on NPR talking about writing his new novel "Homer and Langley," which explores the lives of two privileged brothers who hole themselves up in their brownstone and live amidst a tremendous amount of clutter.

In discussing the character of Homer, Doctorow remarked that he really felt bad for his character and went on to say that, "you're really living with these people and you're living in the sentences," to describe the experience of being so engrossed in your story that you feel deeply for your characters.

I love the expression of "living in the sentences" as it accurately describes the reality that inhabits me when I am working on a novel. As I have said before, Cat's story lived in my head for over ten years. My life at work, at home and with friends was shadowed by her life, her reality, her feelings. I lived in the sentences of The Last Bridge for a long time. Even now, when readers ask me what happens next, or they speculate for me on what the future holds, I honestly can't say whether or not it all works out as I have not "lived" that part of the story (yet? I don't know.)

Right now I am in the thick of book two and this story is told from a man and woman's point of view. This is the first time I have put myself into a man's head and I have to say I am learning a lot(like women are intense and can be complicated!) Generally, I work on one part of the story at a time and live in that character's head for a while. In the car, during morning walks or when I am doing chores, I will play out a scene in my head, often speaking the dialogue of the character out loud. Over time, I hold the character in my heart in the same way I would a cherished friend of member of my family. In stores, I can pick out what he would wear or what color lipstick would look good on her. At times, I wonder what my characters do when they are not in my head.

It is a curious and intense experience. At times it feels as if you are cheating on the people in your real life, that someone else is the object of your attention. Writing is only a small part of the process, inhabiting the world of your story stays with you all the time.

It can be a burden sometimes, especially when you can't get the story done and you can't shake the character either. There are lots of road blocks on the way to finishing a novel and I have had moments when I have felt like my characters were bad pennies I could not lose. When writing about the darker aspects of Cat's life I felt sad a lot of the time, and could not understand how someone could endure what she did. Every time I got drunk I thought, "this is how she feels all the time."

When I got the word from my editors the final draft of The Last Bridge was accepted, I was elated. At last I could go "public" with my relationship with Cat and send her and her story out into the world. I was finally free to live inside other sentences and I was looking forward to it.

That's when I realized the only thing harder about inhabiting the lives of your characters is letting them go.

Getting Out of the Way...

Sometimes you just need to kick yourself in the ass.

This morning I woke up determined to break the streak of bad writing days I had logged this week. Wait, let me rephrase that, the streak of NO writing days I had logged (bad sounded better than NO days.) Oh it wasn't for lack of trying, a blank screen and I tangoed together for a few hours on Sunday evening and again on Monday. On Tuesday I tried a different tactic and just "intended" to write all day but never even opened up Word (ouch!)

I could give you a million reasons and theories why. Aside from writing, I think a writer's favorite past time is talking about writing and it doesn't help that readers seem to be interested in the subject which just fuels the fire. As I have said before, talking about writing isn't writing so does it really matter why?

This is where the ass kicking comes in. Last night before I went to bed I made myself promise that I would: 1) get back to exercising in the morning (the heat wave put me off my long morning walks which seemed to coincide with a decline in my writing output) and 2) that I would write for at least three hours even if all I did was write about why I wasn't writing.

I pushed myself out of bed this morning, put on my sneakers and grabbed my laptop and went for a long bike ride which ended at the town beach. I plopped myself down at a picnic table and powered up. In this scenario wireless is my enemy, so writing outside used to be a good way to keep myself focused. That is until Cablevision decided to light up my whole town with free wireless for customers (and guess who is a customer?) Still, I soldiered on, amazed I had "excellent" connectivity that I wasn't even using.

I wrote for ninety minutes, went to the post office and banged my head on the counter reaching for a medium priority mail box, saw stars, got into a conversation with a woman who was sending chocolates to her granddaughter, came home and wrote on my patio for another ninety minutes.

Notice how I did NOT step foot into my house until I was done? When I get like this, the house is not my home, it is a minefield of distractions so part of the ass kicking meant I could NOT go home empty handed.

The whole idea that you can only write when you are inspired is crap, it's a job and just like any job you don't always feel like doing it but you do. Unfortunately, I am the sole proprietor of Teri Coyne - Writer so sometimes I have to kick my own ass.

Today it worked, tomorrow, well let's just take this one day at a time.

Readers Reach Out

In the week since the book came out I have been overwhelmed (I'm using that word a lot these days) by the response. The first lesson I've learned is a book that is 240 pages long can get read pretty quickly by die hard readers. The second is, many people do it in one or two sitting. Who knew?

Again, when I imagined The Last Bridge getting into the hands of readers I didn't really have a picture of what that would be like. All the supporters who came out to the reading last week bought books and listened to me read, but, unexpectedly (by me) went home and started reading the book! I know this might sound funny but...well...I didn't think people would read it so quickly. Then again, people have been hearing me go on about for anywhere from 2 to 10 years so I guess they have also been waiting to find out what I've been fussing about.

In random order, here are some of the highlights of what I've heard in the last week from friends, and new fans:

• Over ten people have contacted me to say they read the book in one sitting (and some were a little sleepy at work the next day!)
• I have had six librarians email me to say they read it and were glad they ordered it for their collections!
• I'm averaging five emails a day from people who read it and connected to the story and very personal ways (some of the emails are really intense and touching.)
• I have had four men tell me they cried (is it wrong that I LOVE that?)
• Two readers have emailed me to ask when my next book is coming out...(uh...first I have to finish it!)
• Several friends are reading it as they commute to work together
• Holly Hunter and Jennifer Jason Leigh have been suggested as possible "Cats" for the movie version (no one suggests who can play Addison?)
• I have gotten emails about specific reviews on Amazon from people who either agree or disagree (and are passionate about it!)
• I've heard from people who have not read a book in a long time say they couldn't put it down.
• A few Borders have sold out of the book and have had to re-order it -- heard that from some fans
• Got pictures from Florida, New Hampshire, and Long Island of my books on display (I need more people!)

The most unexpected thing that has happened though is the connection people feel to Cat and her story. I think I know how a parent must feel when they see their kid making friends on the playground. I'm appreciative of all the readers who are making friends with The Last Bridge...more than words can express.

Happy Birthday - The Last Bridge

On Tuesday, July 28th 2009 after working on it for over ten years The Last Bridge debuted at The Corner Bookstore in New York City. It was a hot and steamy day, so hot that I didn't even bother to put makeup on until I was sitting in front of the bookstore in my car.

It's hard to describe the feeling I had all day on Tuesday, on the one hand it felt like the wait had been so long that it was hard to

believe it was finally here, on the other, I had the feeling that it had all happened too quickly. Was I ready? Would it do well? How would it feel to add "published author" to my evolving story?

I was worried and understandably so. Anyone who has ever seen a dream realized knows it is one thing to work and plan for something, it is a whole different thing to step into it and experience it with joy and acceptance. You see, I didn't just want to get through the book launch, I wanted to be present and to feel the enormity of the moment.

I did. And man was it intense!

The evening started with me arriving at the same time as my friend Jane and both of us looking at the window display FILLED with copies of The Last Bridge. Within

seconds, my friend Gwyn and my niece Cameron came up and snapped a picture of me in front of the bookstore. Please note the smile, this is a real one not one of my fake, I'm trying to be happy in spite of all the pressure I'm feeling smiles.

The Corner Bookstore is the kind of bookstore you wish was on...well...every corner. It's just big enough to hold enough books for you

to actually browse through and with a team that cares about the books and their customers you feel like someone has already whittled down your choices for you. I am happy to say that although the bookstore is the perfect size for books, it was almost too small to hold all the well wishers who came to christen the launch of the book.

Chairs were setup in two columns with an aisle down the middle, and although I was a few minutes early the seats were already filling up. Lenny, the owner of the bookstore, walked me through the evening and asked me if everyone I was expecting was there. I looked out into the room and saw so many friends and colleagues from work, fellow writers

from workshops and writing groups who read hundreds of versions of the book, friends (or sisters!) of friends from high school, my agent and the full JVNLA support team!, my editors, publicist and marketing peeps from Random House and my large extended family!

Lenny introduced me and as I stood in front of the mic I felt all my worry slip away. The expression, "you are among friends," was never more true than standing in front of that crowd. Honestly, if you could bottle that support we could change the world by dinner on Sunday.

For the launch I decided I wanted to read one of my favorite scenes from the book, the dinner visit with the Igby's. I love it because I think it sums up Cat's real nature, her drinking, her humor and her difficulty assimilating her past, and I love Ruth Igby as she is truly a nosy neighbor.

Central casting couldn't have filled the room with a better crowd, they laughed at all the right spots (some I didn't even realize were funny) and sighed at the end when a critical piece of information is revealed.

The questions were fun. I was asked if I thought about making The Last Bridge into a movie and I joked that there was no way I would consider it. I was also asked about the editorial process, where I got the story from and what I was currently working on.

Lenny wrapped up the reading portion of the reception and asked everyone to fold up their chairs so we could mingle and then the book signing began. I have to admit that I was so excited that I had to ask a lot of people, people I have known for many, many years to spell their names for me before I signed their book. I was so afraid I would spell it wrong (and hope I didn't!)

In case you need more proof of how great my supporters are, this will seal the deal. Many, many people bought more than one copy of the book. In fact, they bought every single copy of The

Last Bridge in the store, including the ones that were on display in the front window. Including my own author copy I brought to read from!!

As the evening was winding down, I looked up from signing to see a tall handsome man come into the store. He looked a lot like my brother, Patrick but I knew it couldn't have been him, as he was in Michigan that day at a board meeting, still this man looked A LOT like my brother. I looked at my sister, my friends Gina and Donna and from the look on their faces I knew it was him. Although he would not go into detail about how he managed it, he left his meeting in Michigan and got to the event with minutes to spare. In an evening of highlights, that was a major high point! (Okay I'll admit it, it made me cry.)

Lenny helped us coordinate getting a table at a nearby restaurant to continue the celebration (what other bookstore do you know will do that for you????) I landed home late in the evening and had a hard time falling asleep (okay I'm still pretty high from the whole thing!)

It is not possible to fully describe the emotion of the evening except to say this, I cannot imagine a first book getting more love than The Last Bridge did and well, as a published author now, I'm pretty sure that spells success.

(That's Mom, bro-in-law Giuseppe, niece Sophia, sister Tami, yours truly and brother Patrick.)

There are no pictures of my friend Catherine as she was the one who took all these great photos (check out the slide show to the right for the full set!)

Book launch at The Corner Bookstore

Pulling the Thread

One of the most thrilling things I experience when I'm writing is when I think I know what is going to happen next and then I find a detail dangling or missing like a thread on a sweater. I pull it and everything changes.

This happened yesterday as I was working on a scene from my second novel. In a previous section I had described the main male character in a fairly nondescript way and decided I needed to paint a more accurate picture of his physicality and openness. As I started, I noticed the more I wrote about how he looked, the stronger sense I got that he was not doing what he was supposed to be doing -- his back story was all wrong.

I've learned not to fight this when it happens. When a character goes left when you meant for them to go right you do NOT steer them in your direction, you go with it. There's a payoff, you just don't know what it is. In other words, you pull the thread hoping to make the fabric smooth again while also being willing to let it all unravel.

After about an hour of reworking his physical description, his name changed, his back story deepened and what was once a short scene, became a pivotal moment. That pesky little thread turned out to be an invitation to go deeper.

It strikes me that life is like this too. If we are the hero of our own story, then we are the main character and the author all at once. While the author side of our self wants us to go left, the hero ventures right.

The road less taken, perhaps? No stone unturned? Who knows why we do it, only that we are pulling the thread of our own story, looking for something deeper, richer and most of all unexpected. Just like in writing ,we have to have faith that it will enrich the fabric of our life even if we can't see that yet. We have to be willing to take the risk.

In the end, as the authors of our own story we get to choose if we are on a heroes journey or a fools errand.

If you're like me, you're stilling pulling at that thread.

Basking in the BookList review

When it takes 10 years to write a book, you have your moments of doubt and uncertainty. Will I ever finish it? Is this even any good? Why is it taking me so long? These are just a few of the questions that circle what you hope is not the dead carcass of your novel.

As I wrote, rewrote and wrestled with plot, there were a few fantasies that kept me going. One was imagining how it would feel to have a published book in my hands (that also included seeing it on the shelves in libraries and bookstores) and the other was thinking about it would feel to read a good review. (In my most doubtful moments, I would make up a review in my head to keep me motivated.)

So first comes the PW review which was great and as I mentioned earlier, a bit surreal. It's hard to describe the feeling of reading about your work in a review, it is close to impossible to be objective and even harder to make the connection that the story they are talking about is yours.


Next up was the Booklist review. Let me say, it helps not to know when the reviews are coming, in fact, it was better to find out during a lunch meeting with my marketing, publicity and editorial team at Random House that they had an advance copy of the review. I like the element of surprise, no time to think about it. So out pops a printout as I sat in front of everyone and read it. This time, that surreal feeling was replaced by a stunned silence and an eerily familiarity -- yes, this review was very close to my imaginary ones.



I folded the review back up and acknowledged how good it was and then enjoyed our lunch. On the way back to work though, I stopped on the street and pulled it back out and read it again as it to confirm I had not imagined it after all.

This review proved something I have always suspected, that anyone who uses the term "tour de force" when describing anything I do, rules my world. (Note: calling me a tour de force with cleaning bathrooms ain't going to get me to clean yours.)

Summoned home after a 10‐year absence by a neighbor's shocking phone call, Cat enters the farmhouse where she wasn't so much raised as pummeled into submission. A delicate lavender sheet of paper waits for her on the kitchen table. Written in precise, cursive script, her mother's suicide note—“He isn't who you think he is"—is diabolically cryptic. Is "he" her father, the abusive drunk who now lays dying in a nearby hospital, or the young son she gave up at birth? Though Cat has long since crawled into a bottle to get away from such demons, her mother's death forces her to relive and confront those nightmarish days when the solace she craved came in the arms of Addison, a young man who may once again prove to be her salvation. Thrumming with a desperate, malevolent intensity, Coyne's debut novel is a psychological tour de force, a disturbing yet ultimately redemptive tale of the burden of secrets and the tenacity of love. –Carol Haggas, BOOKLIST

Reviews, blurbs and blogs

Anyone who knows me, will agree when I say, "I have a very high bar." There are lots of reasons for this, many of which I have spent most of my adult life trying to understand. I have realized in the past few years, some of our best qualities are also the ones that cause us the most trouble. Take the need to be perfect. While logically everyone knows perfection is unattainable, emotionally it can often feel very different. My high bar is about perfection and the need to always get it right, absolutely right.

This quality has helped me enormously throughout my life, it keeps me learning and striving, pushes me to my limits (and gives me the feeling that I have no limits) and provides me with the courage to grow and to change. As a motivator, wanting to be perfect is a great one.

It's not so great for living in the moment. The quest for perfection skews your perception toward what's wrong. It makes you see the one slightly wilted strawberry in a basket full of plump ripe ones.

This is the lesson I am learning now in reading reviews of my book and browsing through book blogs. While the response has been extremely positive and very moving, I have noticed my uncanny ability to zero in on the one thing I can take issue with.

Some examples:

• An early reader wrote a great review of the book on her blog, praising it for the story, character and even saying she cried during several parts of the book. Then she ends the review by saying, "this is definitely not a beach read."
  
  I panic. What does she mean it's not a beach read? My book is coming out in the summer!

• Another reviewer said she had never read a book where the main character cries so much.
  
  My reaction, "OMG this is a sappy awful book!" Of course I neglected to take in all the other positive comments she had and her endorsement. (Upon further reflection I realized she was right, Cat does cry a lot.)
  


• Then there was the one where the reviewer did not like the book and said she felt bad because she had read on my website that it took me ten years to write it. (My reaction, "So it took me ten years to write something you couldn't finish -- great.")

Then there are the star ratings, the Amazon rankings, the thumbs up and down, the star reviews, blah, blah, blah. There are opportunities everywhere for a perfectionist to drive herself crazy (or maybe I should say "crazier")

Back when I used to do stand-up people would often come up to me and say they liked my last show more or give tips on how I could be funnier. One time a good friend waited for me backstage to tell me how offended he was by everything I said. (Everything?) Once I had a drink thrown on me by a drunken heckler and many times people walked out during my set. While I was in it, I focused on these things and struggled, there was no rejection worse than not being funny. Looking back what I remember most was not those stupid comments or harsh experiences, I remember the exhilaration of connecting with a room full of strangers, the communal feeling of taking them somewhere true and funny and leaving them in a better place. In other words, I remember the good things.

Perhaps perfection is too confining, in contracts your world rather than expands it. It defines more than it illuminates. If I could look back, now, on well...now here's what I would say, any reaction to your work is a blessing as it means you have crossed that great chasm from an idea in your head to a story that is being shared. That getting emails from readers saying they stayed up all night to finish your book is success, great success. That it feels good to connect to readers, even if your story isn't there cup of tea.

And speaking of cups of tea, make mine chamomile with some Valerian root -- this perfectionist needs to chill.

Life in the blurbs

You may not think about what makes you buy that book you picked up on the front table of your favorite bookstore, maybe it was a staff pick, it was the proximity to the register, the color of the cover, a recommendation from a friend, or maybe, just maybe it was one of the blurbs you read that made you want to buy it. Blurbs are just another way for a reader to want to buy your book.

I feel like sharing blurbs is a little like carrying around your yearbook and making people read what the quarterback wrote to you (the quarterback never signed my yearbook -- maybe that's why I became a writer?) but it's really hard not to share them (mind you I wouldn't share the quarterback.)

Book Review
A favorable Publisher's Weekly review came just in time to appear on some of my publicity materials, book cover and yes it is on Amazon now too.

Author Blurbs
Three great writers gave me three great reviews. (While you are waiting for The Last Bridge might I recommend supporting one these writers?)

“Teri Coyne grabbed me from the first page and never let me go. I read through the night until I came to the last lovely chapter. The Last Bridge is a whirlwind of a book.”—Amanda Eyre Ward, author of Forgive Me

“Teri Coyne has created a hypnotic portrait of an American family under attack from within, told with such unflinching honesty that you cannot take your eyes off the page. Not since Bastard Out of Carolina have we seen the breathtaking courage it takes to survive and triumph after paying the price of dark secrets corroding the heart of a family. Cat stings you with her caustic tongue, makes you laugh out loud with her wild humor, brings you to tears with the revelation of her trials, and finally lifts you to your feet as she fights her way free to love again. This is a tough, rewarding read you'll never forget.” —Jonis Agee, author of The River Wife

"Cat is an unforgettable character, and The Last Bridge is at once searing and authentic. Teri Coyne has created a compelling mystery, a family drama and a literary delight. Read the first page, and you won’t be able to put it down." -- Masha Hamilton author of The Camel Bookmobile

Book Bloggers
Want proof the novel isn't dead? Check out all the great book blogs out there. These sites are read and run by passionate readers who take their reading seriously. Many of these bloggers have received advance copies of my book and are now posting reviews of them. This site On My Bookshelf featured me in their Waiting on Wednesday posting and then reviewed the book.

E-Bay
Even though you are not supposed to, some people sell the advanced reader copies of a book. Hey at least they're trying to get a good price by stating it's a very good book.

Emails from Readers
If that isn't enough, I've gotten a few emails from readers who found my website and wanted to drop me a line to say how much they liked the book. Hands down this is my favorite kind of feedback!

Conjuring characters

The starting point for most of the characters I have written usually begins with someone I know. Sometimes it is the way they look, or how they move or talk or laugh or what kind of influence they brought to my life, but the beginning of a character always starts with that spark. It doesn't take long before the inspiration is realized into someone wholly different. In other words, they become a character. Once they are a character I don't think much about the person anymore. In fact, I forget about it until the work is done (or someone else reads it and asks.)

People that know me often recognize elements of themselves or others in my characters. Sometimes it is obvious and sometimes it's more obscure and often it goes completely unnoticed, except to me.

In the last few months a curious thing has begun to happen. Some of the people who have inspired my characters have come back into my life.

I have heard from a friend from elementary school that I haven't been in touch with since...well...elementary school...who inspired a name in The Last Bridge. I got an update about someone else who passed away that was a huge source of inspiration for one of my characters. A couple months ago, I heard from an old friend who inspired another name in The Last Bridge.

The most surprising was hearing from someone who inspired a character in my second novel, this was a shock since we had not ended things well a few years back. Suddenly, out of the blue I hear from him.

There is one person though I have not heard from and in writing this I'm wondering if I am rubbing the Genie's lamp and asking for him to appear. Who is it? Well, it is a him. The character he inspired? Well you'll just have to read The Last Bridge and try to figure out who...

If you could conjure one person from your past who would it be and why?

That jacket looks good on you...

I'm going to come clean -- I have had the artwork for my book jacket since early January. I haven't been holding out on you, honestly. My life has been a bit of a blur these past two months -- so much so that even I haven't had a chance to truly take it in. So allow me to gush.


Here are the top 10 things I like about my cover:

10. Cool blue. The blue on this jacket is so cool and scary and calming all at the same time.

9. ISBN Number. Sounds geeky but my book finally has its' own ISBN!

8. Excerpt on the back. You can't see it very well (that's intentional -- I don't want you to feel like you're getting the milk without buying the cow!)

7. The Ballantine Books logo on the spine. Makes it feel real!

6. The glossy smooth "hardcover jacket" feel of the paper

5. My title (who knew I would love it so much?)

4. My name on the spine.

3. My name on the cover.

2. The flap copy (see number 8 on why I'm not showing you that!)

and the #1 thing I love the most about my book cover!

1. IT'S THE COVER OF MY FIRST NOVEL!!!!!!!!!


Okay. I'm done gushing. I've folded the cover back up and put it away to gaze upon later. Back to work -- wait -- just one more look.

Cat's Kitchen

I spent the day on Saturday doing a photo shoot for the website we're creating for The Last Bridge. The prep and planning leading up to it reminded me of many creative adventures I've had over the years when I had to ask friends and family to lend their time, homes, money and other props and goods. I guess I have a little of that Mickey Rooney/Judy Garland spirit in me where I tend to get enthusiastic about putting on a show. In this case it is bringing aspects of the book to life.

The concept is to provide a little more insight into my main character by showing you the contents of her purse. The purse is on a table, the table is in the kitchen of her childhood home. Sounds easy, right?

Wrong. The kitchen had to have a window over the sink, a door, old cabinets and a farmhouse feel. It needed to be located within the tri-state area and the owner needed to be open to letting us come in and shoot. Oh and we needed to find the kitchen in less than three weeks.

Enter, Larry. My friend Donna's retired downstairs neighbor and lovable pack rat. After sending out an email blast to friends we got some nibbles but none had ALL the elements. Then one morning while brushing my teeth I saw Larry's kitchen in my mind and realized he had it all. We just needed to convince him. That was Donna's job.

Once we had the kitchen Rose (my web designer) and I divided up the prop load. I got to work recreating the bag of legal documents Cat carries around -- including creating some fake medical tests, an old deed and birth certificates. (Thank you Internet!) Rose made a map tracing the route from New York to my imaginary town (see photo) and she even got her boyfriend Dave to represent the father's handwriting.

My friend Gwyn wrote the notes from Diana. Catherine recreated my mother's notes and I kept my terrible penmanship out of it. My friend Wileen gave me some help on places to find a kitchen and reminded me not to forget to feed my crew. Gina scouted a few locations out East and Denise offered me Craig's kitchen (and Craig let her!)

Best of all a young artist named Christopher Carrasco brought Cat's sketches to life -- they are sooo cool.

After we moved everything in Larry's kitchen, we created our "tableau." As I watched Rose shoot, I realized the items on the table spilling out of Cat's purse said as much about me as they did about her. I had another one of those weird moments when I realized I made Cat up and she was not going to talk through that door and ask me what the F*ck I was doing with her stuff.

If she had, I would have certainly taken her to Mama's which is where we ended the day with bowls of pasta and REALLY good garlic knots. Larry said he would let us use his kitchen any time we wanted.