Friday, August 22, 2008

Over Field & Stream

Imagine my surprise when I found two issues of Field & Stream magazine in my mailbox last Friday? I assumed my mail carrier had delivered them to the wrong house and quietly wondered which of my neighbors could be a gun toting hunter, apparently it is me. The mailing label not only showed my address but indicated I had a year subscription.

Aside from Guns & Ammo, I can't think of another periodical I would have a greater aversion to than Field & Stream, yes I think I would rather get a subscription to Playboy. The current issue, "The Accuracy Issue" has a close up of a rifle with the caption "Buckology - The New Science Behind Better Deer Hunting." This is a glimpse into a world I would prefer to think does not exist.

As I slipped them into my recycle bin I began to wonder, "Who would do this to me?" The answer was, no one. I was given a free subscription because of being on a mailing list for another magazine (does a subscription to Domino or Better Homes and Gardens meet a certain demographic hunters are looking to tap?) When I called to cancel I had to hold myself back from screaming, "Please don't ever send me this magazine again!" The poor operator was gracious but I could tell she didn't understand why I was so annoyed by this "free gift."

It is one thing to know people hunt it is another to be thought of as someone who hunts. Magazines have a way of tapping you into a world you want to be part of which is why I haven't read a beauty magazine in over five years. No, it's not because I don't think I'm beautiful, it's because I don't want to live on the gerbil wheel of not being good enough unless I have the right mascara. While I do care about cool handbags, I don't care about cellulite and aging so I stick to home magazines (which I affectionately call decorator porn.) I'm okay with my mail carrier thinking I care about my house (although overgrown weeds and the lawn chair that's been on my porch for a month isn't going to get me the cover of Architectural Digest anytime soon) or literature (New Yorker, Poets & Writers) or city life (New York Magazine) or even cooking (Cook's Illustrated) but I feel like I owe him an apology for the Field & Stream and while I'm at it, I should also thank him for trying to keep my deliveries as dry as possible.

As for the big buck on the cover that had a rifle pointed at him, I hope my deer friends remember all the times I have stopped for them on the road and waited for them to cross. Now that I think about it, I may not hunt animals but I sure have killed a lot of trees.

1 comment:

Mad William Flint said...

Yep. I've had a couple of those. Not "field & stream" of course (err... 'of course'?) but Men's Health which seems to be some sort of gay softcore porn magazine espousing the virtues of moisturizers and abdominal crunches.