Sunday, March 29, 2009

Perfectly imperfect

Having a birthday at the end of March can include a wide variety of types of weather. I have tried to hail taxis in the middle of a blizzard, worn sandals and sunglasses sitting in an outdoor cafe and, like today, have looked for my rain gear. While the saying is, March goes out like a lamb, it really goes out any old way it wants.

I like it like that.

Like the weather on my b-day, I am neither sunny or stormy. I am something in between and that suits me fine. Of all the great things about getting older, self-acceptance is one of the best gifts. While I strive to be the best I can be, I have finally learned that there are just some things about myself that will never change. And instead of wishing those things away, I have accepted them. Here is a short list of some of my less than sunny qualities (consider this notice not to take any of this behavior personally):

Baggage claim blues
I will never, ever be pleasant at baggage claim. After a long trip (and when you are flying these days isn't every trip a long one?) I am not excited about being home (or arriving in paradise) - -I am tired and cranky and I want to get to my destination. I can't explain it and I don't even have the energy to try to fake it. Your best bet when traveling with me is to just stay away. I'll cheer up, I promise.

Bye for now
I hate long good-byes. When I'm ready to leave I want to go, I will say good-bye once but if you're the kind of person who has to see everyone and have a long farewell, I'll meet you in the car. When I'm done, I'm done. Good-bye, let's go.

No so holy day
I don't like to go to church. I will if I have to but don't give me dirty looks when I don't sing along or kneel, stand, squat, jump, wail or whatever the service requires. It's not my thing.

I'll cry if I want to
I worry that no one will come to my parties. If you're friends with me you have to suffer through this...days before I worry no one will come, then I'm afraid too many people are coming...on the day of I'm back to worrying that no one will come. Once the first person shows up, I have no worries.

Little Miss Smartypants
Sometimes I have to be the smartest person in the room, when I do I make other people feel bad.

Hold onto your Monopoly boards
I am competitive and avoid playing board games as it brings out that side of me and isn't always pretty.

Hmmm...should it be this one? or that one?
I have a very thorough decision making process. If I'm buying tile for my bathroom I have to see every tile available. If I'm painting my dining room I have to see every paint sample. I try not to pull other people into this but sometimes it can't be helped.

I vant to be alone
I need to spend time alone. Too much togetherness makes me itchy. I don't need a lot just a few minutes every day to collect my thoughts. If you are in my face 24/7 I will get mean.

Get yer own
I don't like sharing the covers. I would rather we each had our own blankets.

Oh didn't just say that?
I have no tolerance for BS. In fact, if you try to BS me I'll lose it.

You know the funny part? I could keep going. Perhaps the greatest revelation I've had in my 40s is that the only person who ever expected me to be perfect was me.

Apparently my friends and family have known all along what a pain in the butt I can be and wonder of wonders, they love me anyway.

That, my friends is the best birthday gift of all.

1 comment:

Allison said...

This is why I like you so much! :)